Rediscovery
by Auj-Oule
Summary: Wingul awakes to unpleasant changes in his life. Post-ToX. Endgame spoilers.


_Dedicated to Lord of Judgement... you know why. :P_

* * *

Wingul fell to his knees. He had hoped it wouldn't come to this and, not being fond of wasting opportunities, he made one last attempt at convincing them of Gaius' plans, but they refused to listen, instead babbling on about their own ideas. Naive fools, all of them. _So be it,_ Wingul thought as he pushed himself to his feet. He'd seen the possibility of his own death before he'd come here. It didn't matter. Gaius needed to win; if Jude and Milla had their way, both Rieze Maxia and their precious Elympios would perish eventually. If he could stop them only at the cost of his own life, he would.

He activated his booster and searing agony filled him. He screamed as he clutched his head and almost fell, but he couldn't stop. He wouldn't fail- he couldn't fail. He had to help Gaius win. And so he summoned the last of his strength, pushed away the pain and brought the booster under control. If anything, the pain increased, but he kept going, lifted his sword and brought it down again. The resulting shockwave shattered the ground, and the group fell.

His booster deactivated itself, but it was too late. He was going to die. Hopefully separating his enemies would help. It was in Gaius' hand now, though, and Gaius wouldn't fail. The sword slipped from his limp hand and he fell backwards with a smile on his face. Silently, he bid his farewell to Gaius, then everything went black...

...and then he opened his eyes again and found himself lying in a bed. He didn't understand. Why was he lying in a bed? And where was he? And what had happened after he'd passed out? How was he still alive after all of that? He didn't even feel particularly bad- he was sore all over and plagued by a terrible headache, but he'd had it worse. So... how? Why?

Wingul forced himself to calm down. Getting lost in confusion wouldn't help, he would just need to get up and find out himself. For the how and why, he would need to find someone to tell him, but the where he might be able to figure out on his own. He took a closer look at the room; it was nondescript, simple wooden walls and floor, but there were various pieces of hospital equipment, all currently out of use. Was this a hospital room then?

A look out of the window that was covered with a curtain might help. He sat up and waited for the dizziness to disappear. When it didn't, he ignored it and stood up on unsteady legs. He very nearly fell, but managed to catch himself in time and staggered to the window. He pulled the curtain away and immediately squeezed his eyes shut when the bright light shining through the glass blinded him. After a moment, he blinked and took another look. Mostly he saw white, but he could make out a few roofs and streets. The white appeared to be snow. It looked like Kanbalar, all in all, and if he wasn't mistaken looking at the city from the angle, he was in Gaius' castle.

The door opened. Wingul turned around and saw Ilbert, out of all people, coming in. Before Wingul could say anything, the old man smiled and greeted him: "You've finally woken up! We've all been worried about you. However, maybe you should-"

"Shut up." Wingul had no need for a lecture on the state of his health from Ilbert. He was glad enough to be on his feet and he had no intention of going back to bed unless necessary (necessary as decided by himself, of course).

"I just meant to say that you're-"

"-shut _up, _I said-"

"-wearing a hospital gown-"

"Just- what?"

Wingul looked down on his body as Ilbert finished his sentence. "-and that you shouldn't walk around in that."

He was right. Wingul tried not to blush. How had he not noticed what he was wearing? "I... Where are my clothes?" Ilbert pointed to a second door he hadn't noticed before. Hurriedly, Wingul opened it and found himself in a small bathroom with a wash basin, toilet and a bath tub. Which was great because it was at that moment that he realised he really needed the second and could probably use the third as well.

As he slipped into the bath tub after relieving himself on the toilet, he wondered why exactly Ilbert was in Gaius' castle. Evidently, his last attack hadn't been enough to finish the old man off, so the rest was probably alive as well. Why did Gaius allow him to stay here? (Perhaps he was a prisoner kept under domestic arrest although Rowen hardly looked like one). And were the others here as well? Unless... no. He refused to consider the alternative. Gaius had to have won.

The hot water was soothing and he soon felt himself dozing off. Part of him wanted to stay a bit longer, but he didn't want to fall asleep in a bath tub, especially not before finding out what had happened, so he climbed out reluctantly, used a towel to dry himself and went to pick up the clothes lying on a chair next to the tub. He examined them and nodded. They seemed to be in order: Feather cloak was there and in good condition. He slipped into them and opened the door, only to find Ilbert gone and a man waiting in the room. It took him a second to recognise him; it was the doctor that had been responsible for treating him at the booster laboratory. He'd been working at the Kanbalar hospital since the laboratory was closed, as far as Wingul knew; Gaius had hired the man to take care of him, he guessed. What was his name? He didn't remember the time he spent at the laboratory terribly well...

The doctor opened his mouth , but Wingul cut him short: "I'm _not_ going back to bed. Don't even bother suggesting it."

The doctor bothered anyway. "But Lord Wingul, you've been unconscious for seventeen days..."

"_Seventeen_ days?!" Wingul nearly cursed. Catching up with recent events would take so much time.

"Yes, Mylord, and that's why you should rest!" The doctor insisted.

"What I need to do is go see His Highness as soon as he has time to receive me. Where is he?"

The doctor shook his head. He knew when to give up a hopeless battle. "He has given orders to be notified as soon as you wake up. He'll come as soon as he can, he said."

"Splendid. Now, what about the state of my health?" Wingul asked.

The doctor sighed. "Your booster is no longer usable, but I'm sure you already suspected as much."

Wingul nodded. Of course he had. He didn't like it, but there was no helping it...

"You might not make a full recovery, although being on your feet and staying that way for so long is certainly a good sign, Mylord. We will have to run a few tests to give a full diagnosis."

Now Wingul frowned. "Nonsense. I'm feeling fine, aside from a headache, but those I've had whenever I activated my booster, and just as bad." He didn't feel like mentioning that his legs were beginning to feel like something suspiciously close to jelly. "In fact, I feel hardly any worse than after the other times. Why would I not recover fully?"

The doctor was spared from giving a reply when the door opened. Both he and Wingul turned towards it as Gaius strode in. The Dawn king wore his full suit of armor and seemed to be fine, as Wingul was relieved to see. Still, he couldn't help but notice that Gaius' gait seemed to be a tad less energetic, his back not quite as straight as usual...

Gaius' first words were, "If you would leave us. I wish to talk to Wingul in private," but even as he addressed the doctor his eyes never left Wingul's. After the door closed behind the man (who knew better than to protest), neither of the two spoke for several seconds.

Finally, Gaius broke the silence. "I'm glad you're okay," he said simply.

"That's it? You're glad I'm okay? What happened to your eloquence?" It was teasing, mostly; Wingul knew Gaius would take it as such. "More importantly, what happened while I was... unconscious? I will need to know before I go back to work."

Gaius shook his head, "This is so like you, Wingul. Comatose for seventeen days and the first thing you think of after waking up is work."

Wingul crossed his arms, "What, did you expect me to stay in bed? There's work to do, and based on how tired you look, you could use some help."

Was it his imagination or did Gaius' lips really twitch? "Perceptive as ever. No, I certainly didn't expect you to stay in bed like any normal person and you're correct, I could certainly use a hand. Fine. Half days, for now. Don't argue," he added when he saw Wingul's face. "This is not up for negotiation. I won't have you overwork yourself, Wingul. You won't help anyone if you collapse because you push yourself too far." The unspoken _again_ was quite obvious.

Wingul sighed. "Alright. I know better than to argue with you on that... will you tell me what happened in the meantime?"

Gaius nodded. "Shall we sit down?" With anyone else, Wingul would have refused, but he had to admit it was nice to rest his legs as he sat down on the bed, next to Gaius.

The king didn't look at him when he started speaking. "You're not going to like this, Wingul. I... lost to them."

Wingul stared at him. "If this is supposed to be a joke, it's not funny, Gaius."

Gaius lowered his head. "It's not a joke. I lost. The schism is dispelled."

Wingul didn't recall standing up, but suddenly he was on his feet, swaying slightly as the dizziness overcame him again. "But you- I risked my life for you- I expected to die when I came there, damn it! And then you go and- and screw it up and _lose_, how could you?! _Look at me already!"_

Gaius obliged and stared back at him coolly. "I don't recall telling you to do that. In fact, what I do recall is specifically telling you to stay in Rieze Maxia and take care of matters. I'm grateful for both your devotion and your survival and I'm sorry that it was in vain- sorry for failing you, but do not pass the blame of your own actions to me."

Wingul laughed mirthlessly. "Is that supposed to pass for an apology? You lost to an old man and a bunch of brats, and with Musee's help too! How pathetic is that? Now what, are you going to watch quietly as they drive the world to destruction with their idiotic plans?"

Gaius leaned back and crossed his arms. "No. That is not what will happen. Their plan may be poorly thought through, but with the schism gone, it is the only one we have for now. I will make sure it comes to fruition myself. What is it that you want to hear from me? I apologised and I will do it again if it makes you feel better, but what's in the past is in the past and can no longer be changed. We will have to play with the hand life has dealt us." He extended a hand. "Are you going to help me?"

Wingul stared at the hand in disgust. "Do you need to ask? You should know me better than that. What choice do I have, as it is?"

"Fair enough." Gaius' expression softened a little. "I'm sorry, Wingul. I really am. But I can't dwell on the past now. Milla and Jude have set the world on this path and I will need to make sure they don't lead us all to ruin."

Wingul closed his eyes for a second. "Tell me what happened in the meantime." He would make sense of his feelings later.

"After the schism was dispelled-", at this point one of Gaius' eyebrows twitched, "-I returned to Kanbalar to settle matters here and solidify my reign in Rashugal. Things in Auj-Oule are going well now that most of the issues caused by my absence have been resolved and there seems to be surprisingly little resistance in Rashugal. Driselle Sharil has proven to be quite helpful. Rieze Maxia is doing fine, all things considered. Elympios is the real issue," he paused. "They have denied any connection to Exodus, of course. They claim they were an independent terrorist group and that the Otherworld Reactor plan was never meant to be implemented. I can't prove they're lying though, not without admitting that it was me who attacked Helioborh... and then they're being stubborn about their spyrixes. They say they can't just replace them, citing made-up reasons to explain why."

Wingul stared. "That's dumb. And if you hadn't lost, we would have never ended up in this situation."

Gaius sighed. "I take it you will be reminding me that I'm to blame every time I complain? Not that you don't have a point. Either way, I still somehow need to arrange access to their research and facilities or else make them do the research themselves. The Labari Hollow laboratory is being turned into a spyrite research facility as we speak. And in the meantime, I will need to pass a law prohibiting import, creation, ownership and usage of spyrixes in all of Rieze Maxia..."

"No wonder you look so tired. You never liked drafting laws," Wingul remarked. "I'll do it. It won't take too long. What did you have in mind regarding the punishment?"

"Imprisonment and fines for import, ownership, creation and sale. Don't make the prison terms too short." Another pause. "Death penalty for use. Killing a spirit should not be taken any lighter than killing a human."

Wingul nodded. "Agreed. I will get to work right away. Is there anything else I should know? Perhaps the reason why Ilbert is here?"

"He has been assisting me. Oh, don't make that face," Gaius sighed. "I know you don't think highly of him, but he knows what he is doing and having someone who is well respected in Rashugal is invaluable. I expect you to work with him whenever necessary."

"Of course I will," Wingul said stiffly. He wouldn't enjoy it, but it couldn't be helped.

"Excellent. Now that that's settled, I assume you will want to go to work as soon as possible? I thought so. You should consider eating something before you do, however."

Wingul's stomach took this as a cue to grumble audibly. Wingul glared at it. "That sounds like a reasonable idea, now that you mention it."

"I'm surprised you're not already feeling faint, frankly. You haven't exactly been able to eat much recently." Gaius stood up. "It's almost lunchtime. I ordered meals for both of us to be served. Are you going to eat with me or are you angry enough to have yours brought to a different room?"

Wingul sighed. "No, I will eat with you. Let's go."

As expected, the food had close to no spices in them. "How you can continue to eat like this I don't know," Wingul mocked after sending a servant to fetch spices. "I swear, the only thing you eat that actually tastes like anything is candy. King of Sweets, indeed..."

Gaius looked up. "If I'm the King of Sweets, you're the King of Sour Moods, Wingul. If I had a gald for every time you brought this up while eating with me, Auj-Oule's monetary problems would be solved."

Wingul hemmed. They finished eating in silence; afterwards both went back to work, Wingul to drafting a Spyrix law, Gaius to attending regular matters.

Contrary to what one might suspect, Wingul hardly _liked_ writing law text. It was dry work devoid of any kind of creative imagination (although occasionally he amused himself by phrasing paragraphs in such a complex manner that nobody who had not studied law would have any chance of understanding them). Nevertheless, it was necessary work; if spyrixes were allowed to become too common, keeping them out of Rieze Maxia would end up being much harder.

As he wrote down the text and rephrased and restructured the text to make sure that this time, anyone would be able to comprehend easily what it said, he lost track of the time and was startled to see that it was already evening when someone knocked on the door.

It was the doctor from earlier, who apologised profusely, but his half day was over now and he was ready for a few tests to ensure nothing was wrong with him.

Wingul put down his pen. He'd done enough today and if he refused, the doctor would report it to Gaius anyway.

He was led into a sterile room containing various medical devices, few of which he recognised. There was a second doctor waiting for him as well, this time one he did not know. They started by measuring his vitals, which appeared to be fine if their reactions were anything to go by. Afterwards they strapped a device that seemed vaguely familiar to his head.

"What is this?" Wingul asked.

"It's a tool to measure the activity of the manalobe based on the mana emission. You've worn it in the lab, don't you remember? Since your booster directly affected your manalobe, we would like to make sure they are in order," the first doctor said as the other finished attaching the machine.

So that was why it felt so familiar, Wingul thought and nodded.

"Now, if you would please emit as much mana as you can, without casting an arte?"

Wingul complied. Immediately, his head started throbbing painfully. He suppressed a moan and reached up to clutch his head. With every throb, he felt as though someone was hitting hard against the inside of his skull...

"Mylord! Is everything alright?!" The doctor bent down and pulled his head up, peering into his eyes.

Wingul flinched. "Stop that!" The room seemed to be lit far to brightly all of a sudden. The doctor opened his mouth to say something, but the other called him over to the screen showing the results, leaving Wingul to cover his eyes. The headache subsided quickly, at least, but when he opened his eyes he was still blinded by the light.

The two doctors were still whispering to each other. Wingul watched them warily. Finally they stopped and came over to him.

"Mylord, you... the readings have shown that your manalobe is damaged," one of them blurted out.

Wingul stared. "No, that can't... you're wrong." He stood up, brushing their hands off. They must have made a mistake, he thought, or else the machine was broken. Without listening to their complaints, he began casting a spirit arte to prove them wrong. As the first words of the incantation left his lips, the world first flashed blindingly, then turned pitch-black.

He awoke on the floor, the doctors frantically casting healing artes on him. His head hurt- not in the throbbing way of earlier, this time it was a terrible, agonising pressure, as if part of his brain had swollen. It was worse, somehow... His vision was blurry and he felt oddly detached from what was happening around him. Eventually, one of the doctors noticed he was awake. "You must never ever do that again, Mylord. The booster has damaged your manalobe so much that even tiny mana emissions will cause headaches and possibly worse- channeling the amount of mana needed to cast artes will only degrade your condition even further. Eventually, it will likely kill you... there is no cure."

Wingul didn't know what he felt. All he knew was that he was tired and his head hurt; he wanted to go to bed and sleep. As he struggled to his feet, fighting the sickness that overcame him, a thought came to him. "Don't... tell Gaius." If he knew about his condition... no, he would have to hide it and hope he wouldn't catch on.

He refused their offer to help him back to his room. Even if he was crippled now, he was not going to flaunt it- not to Gaius, not to anyone else.

By the time he reached the rooms he shared with his king, the headache had almost become bearable, his vision had cleared and his steps were surer. He supposed he should be glad about that, at least. Inside, he found Gaius sitting at the table, reading one of those huge dusty history tomes he favoured. At his entrance, the man looked up and frowned. "You don't look too well, Wingul."

Wingul closed the door behind him. "I am fine," the lie came easier than he'd expected. "Those doctors ran a handful of tests on me. I'm just tired."

Gaius didn't look convinced but didn't press the issue. "You should go to bed then. I'll join you in a minute."

"Just let me use the bathroom first," Wingul said as he made his way towards the door.

The realisation hit him as he was washing his hands. He had sacrificed his strength to Gaius' cause and Gaius... had failed. It was meaningless. He hadn't accomplished even a single thing. One part of him felt like crying, another hated the man for it. He ignored both of them. It wouldn't do to act on either, not if he wanted to keep his disability hidden from Gaius.

However, when Gaius slipped into the bed as well, he turned his back on him. He didn't want to be too close to him, not now. Fortunately, Gaius didn't insist. As tired as Wingul was, it took him the better part of an hour to fall asleep.

When he woke up, Gaius was already gone. Still half asleep, he turned around and blinked at the clock. It was close to noon. Grumbling, he got up and dressed. Why had Gaius not woken him up? The entire morning wasted...

A pang of pain shot through his head and reminded him of what had happened yesterday. He did not want to go see Gaius, but the man would wonder why he was avoiding him if he didn't. He supposed there was no way to avoid paying him a visit. If only the doctors did as they were told...

The pangs had been replaced by a dull, rhythmic throbbing, less painful than bothersome and distracting. He wondered if headaches would be a common occurrence now- even more common that they had been- even without using his manalobe. Hopefully he had been wrong. He didn't cherish the thought of doing paperwork with a pounding head. Briefly, he considered asking the doctors, but then he remembered the terrible looks of _pity_ they had given him and decided against it. It would be fine. If need be, he would resort to painkillers.

He hardly felt like eating, but he knew he had to. Yet when the late breakfast he'd ordered arrived, he found himself listlessly nibbling at it. It felt as if he was too full to eat anything, only he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday's lunch...

Eventually, he sighed and gave up delaying it. It was time to look for Gaius. He ended up finding him in his office, reading what looked like a report of something. For a second, he didn't know what to say, then just contended himself with "Why didn't you wake me?"

"A good morning to you too," Gaius said as he put down the papers. "You didn't look well yesterday and you've only just awoken from a coma. I thought letting you sleep would be the best. Although-", Gaius glanced at his face, "-you don't look much better, truthfully. You_ are_ feeling well enough to work, aren't you?"

"Of course I am," Wingul snapped. He didn't want Gaius worrying enough to send him back to bed, or worse, talk to the doctors... "I'm here to discuss the draft with you, not to argue about how I feel."

Gaius raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. He simply motioned Wingul to come closer. He complied, glad that the other man didn't keep asking, and as they discussed his draft, things almost felt like they did before. A ruler and his advisor doing their work, just as usual. He could almost forget that some things wouldn't be as they used to be. Even the headache and his anger at Gaius subsided a little.

All things must come to an end, however, and all too soon they were done; possible implications discussed, additional paragraphs added, necessary changes made.

Gaius looked up and smiled. "Excellent work, as always. Thank you." Gently, he placed his arm around Wingul's waist. It was a soft gesture, and one Wingul usually liked, but he couldn't quite enjoy it this time, and after a second, he wriggled out of it. Gaius lowered his arm. "Still too angry at me? Ah, well, I suppose I deserve it." He paused, thinking. "I can't undo what happened, Wingul, but if there is anything I can do to make it up to-"

Wingul cut him short. "There is nothing you can do. Just- just do your best to guide Rieze Maxia to a better future..." Not even Gaius could give him his manalobe back. The damage was irreversible, after all. "Now isn't the time to focus on me... on us. We have more important things to do." Maybe that would dissuade Gaius from asking, Wingul thought, but his hopes were disappointed when Gaius crossed his arms and said: "So you say, but your wellbeing is a factor to consider. You are my right hand. Certainly, I could rule without you, but I have no desire to." His expression softened. "I mean it, Wingul. I know you push yourself too far all too often. You have a headache, don't you? ...no, don't even deny it, I know how to spot it by now. You know best if you feel well enough to work, Wingul, but don't treat this like a regular cold. You nearly died... and your doctor actually recommended that you don't work at all for now."

Wingul gave a start. "You talked to them?"

Gaius looked at him with surprise. "Of course I did. They said that you will be fine as long as you don't overexert yourself, baring any unpredictable complications... although they mentioned the possibility that you will not be as strong as you used to be."

"I... they said it was likely that I'd be... weaker..." Wingul looked to the ground. It hurt to say it to Gaius. At least he didn't seem to know about his manalobe. "If it's alright with you, I'll go rest a little now."

If Gaius had seen through his pathetic attempt at getting out of this conversation, he didn't show it. "Do that, and please don't worry. It'll be fine, no matter how it turns out."

Wingul didn't say anything, he just left the office. How could he say it would be fine? It wasn't Gaius who would never be able to fight again, it wasn't Gaius who would be plagued by headaches, it wasn't Gaius who was crippled... Nothing would be fine, he thought as he slowly walked towards his bedroom. A moment later, it occurred to him that Gaius didn't know any of that. Gaius thought he would be a little weaker, maybe get tired a little earlier, at most, not that he was useless now. What if he was ordered to fight? What if Gaius asked him to spar? He would have to tell Gaius, he couldn't keep it secret, but...

He turned around a corner and bumped into someone; he stumbled but managed to stay upright.

"Oh, I'm sorry, are you alright?"

Wingul looked up and saw Ilbert, watching him with concern.

"Of course I am." He was getting tired of hearing that question.

Ilbert nodded. "Good. ...actually, I've been looking for you. I'd like an opinion on some things and Gaius has been so busy that I didn't want to bother him with it. I hate to trouble you so soon after you recovered, but could you-"

"I _said_ I was fine. Stop fussing about it and tell me what you want to know," Wingul growled.

"Ah, if you would come with me to my office, please? It's this way." The old man turned around and walked off. So Ilbert had his own office now, Wingul thought as he followed. He sure hadn't wasted any time...

"What is it that you wanted to discuss?" Wingul asked as he sat down.

"I've been thinking about Rashugal. It is now part of a united Rieze Maxia, of course, but there is still the matter of how much independence it should retain," Ilbert said.

Wingul crossed his arms. "And what do you propose?"

"Gaius allowed Sharilton to keep its government structure. Install the same in Fennmont, a governor and a parliament responsible for handling local matters. Of course, their power would be limited and ultimately it would be Gaius who makes the final call on important matters, but things in Rashugal will go easier if we allow them to handle the less important things themselves. It will enable them to keep the usual way of life as much as it is possible in a united Rieze Maxia- more than what would be possible in a centralised Auj-Oule government." Ilbert looked at him, perhaps trying to decipher his reaction.

"You've certainly put some thought into this, I see. Do you think that the Rashugal population will contend with being a region of His Highness' nation if they are given a semblance of independence? After all, not much time passed since Auj-Oule was their enemy." Despite his words, Wingul had to admit the suggestion made sense. Still, he needed to see his reaction...

"Nachtigal was not particularly popular near the end of his reign, and Gaius gained the approval of many by keeping the hospital open and supplying it with medicine. Those who still oppose him will have a hard time drawing people to their side, I think."

"You have a point." For all the old man's failures, it was a logical proposition. There was one thing missing though... "Are any members of the Rashugal royal family still alive?"

"No," Ilbert said quickly- too quickly. "They died when Nachtigal consolidated his power after taking the throne."

"Are you sure?" He was lying, Wingul was sure of it.

Ilbert hesitated briefly but noticeably. "All of them are dead, I assure you."

Wingul briefly considered trying to force a confession, but rejected the idea right away. If Ilbert was conspiring with Rashugal royalty, it was best to inform Gaius first... and as much as it galled him to admit, in his current condition he couldn't match the Conductor if he tried to escape or fight back. Someone else would have to handle that.

"I will relay what you said to His Highness. We will see what he thinks." He stood up and left the room. He felt tense as he did so; Ilbert must have noticed he knew about his lie and that he would report it to Gaius... but he didn't make a move.

As he walked back to Gaius' office that he had escaped from earlier, he hoped Gaius would be too distracted by Ilbert's behaviour to make a fuss about him not getting any rest. He didn't want to talk about his health now any more than earlier.

He started speaking as soon as he entered the room, not giving Gaius any chance to comment (and if the look on his face was anything to go by he would have).

"I suspect Ilbert is up to something, Your Highness."

Gaius made a face. "Wingul, I know you don't like him but this is just-"

"Shut up and let me finish. I just talked to him about your plans for Rashugal and when I asked him whether anyone from their royal family is still alive he very obviously lied when he said no. He might be conspiring with them."

Gaius stood up. "Are you certain?" Wingul nodded. "I'll take care of it immediately. Come with me." Without waiting for a reply, he left the office. The two walked in silence, Gaius likely thinking about Ilbert and Wingul being relieved that his strategy had worked. Now if only the man didn't notice his head was pounding and that he really was quite tired, now that he thought about it...

Gaius broke the silence eventually. "You will have to tell me everything you remember of your conversation."

"Certainly," Wingul replied. Of course he had to- he wondered why he hadn't thought of it earlier. It seemed like he did need some rest, but not now. This matter had to be resolved first.

He was still repeating Ilbert's every word and gesture when they arrived at a meeting room- Gaius ordered a passing servant to fetch guard to escort Ilbert and to watch over the room afterwards. As they settled down to wait, Gaius looked at Wingul. "I'll ask you this only once. Are you sure you're up for this?"

Wingul sighed in exasperation. "For the last time, will you stop treating me like a porcelain doll? I'm not so fragile that I'll shatter under the slightest bit of pressure."

Gaius looked as if he wanted to say something, but then he just shook his head. "Alright, if you say so. Now, as for how to proceed. If he does conspire with someone, he will deny everything, and by now he has had enough time to come up with a story. The question is, how do we make him talk?"

Wingul had seen that coming. "We know where his former companions are, and none of them seem to have taken any safety precautions- or done anything to prevent the world's imminent destruction, in some cases," he couldn't resist to add. "Use them as a pressure means. He seemed to be close enough to them for that. I don't know what it is he's planning or with whom, but he didn't seem to reject the idea of you ruling a united Rieze Maxia. I doubt it will take much to make him talk."

Gaius nodded. "It's an idea. Depending on how things go, I might do that. However-" He interrupted himself when the door opened and Ilbert entered the room, flanked by two guards. He looked slightly nervous, Wingul thought... nervous and anxious. A good sign.

Gaius motioned for the old man to sit down but didn't say anything even after he was seated. He was watching Ilbert, face carefully kept blank. Wingul followed suit.

It didn't even take long or Ilbert to speak up. "I suppose it would be best to explain... but I assure you, you misunderstood my intention. I have no wish to overthrow your rule in Rashugal, but it is true that I lied. There _is _a survivor from the royal family. " He hesitated again. "I was merely hoping to spare her the trouble of being under surveillance. She is no threat to you at all, I-"

Gaius cut him off. "Your opinion on this matter is not needed. Tell me who she is and where she lives now."

Ilbert sighed. "It's Carrie, Nachtigal's sister. She didn't die in the tsunami twenty years ago, as everyone thought. She was swept to Elympios and lost her memory. I met her in Trigleph. She remembers nothing and she has founded a family there. Even if that wasn't the case, she would be taken for an impostor if she reappeared after all this time."

"I see," Gaius said. "I will let it slide if your story is confirmed to be true, since you only tried to protect an old... acquaintance. However..." He leaned forward slightly. "If you are found to have lied or kept quiet on other important matters, there will be consequences. I have no use for a subordinate I cannot trust. If you have anything else to say, you should use this chance."

Ilbert didn't say anything else. Wingul wondered if that truly was everything. He would have someone look into it. What a shame he no longer had Presa to rely on, she had excelled at these things. Ah, his head hurt too much...

"Very well," Gaius said when it became apparent that Ilbert would say no more. "You are dismissed."

"I apologise for the inconvenience," Ilbert said as he left. Wingul stood up as he well, but Gaius pulled him back onto his chair and touched his forehead. "As I thought. You're even paler than usual, you feel feverish, I can see you're tired and while you didn't realise it as it seems, you've rubbed your temple like this several times during the conversation. Your headache is getting worse, isn't it?"

Wingul lowered his hand and glared at Gaius. "I believe I told you to stop treating me like a porcelain doll. I know my limit and-"

Gaius barked a laugh. "You? I distinctly remember the time you fell down two flights of stairs after you insisted you were well enough to work. Pardon me if I'm not going to take your word for it."

In a blink of an eye, Wingul was back on his feet. "In the past seventeen- no, eighteen days, did it ever occur to you that all of this is your fault? _You_ gave them the key, thanks to _you_ they were able to follow us- if it hadn't been for this they would have never been able to interfere! And for what? _What was the point?_"

"I intended to make use of them after dispelling the schism. They are strong, and even if they were misguided, their desire to make the world a better place could have been directed to more reasonable ends. Besides, they would have interfered with me anyway-"

"Oh, so you tried to recruit them? Like you recruited me? Is that it?" Wingul spat.

"Don't be stupid. You know you're more than just some recruit."

"Not anymore, now!"

Wingul swallowed. He hadn't meant to say that. Gaius wouldn't let it go until he spilled... And indeed, the man was looking at him with raised eyebrows, obviously waiting for an explanation.

"My manalobe..." He let out a shaky breath. "It's damaged. I- I can' emit mana anymore... I can't use artes, I'm... useless..."

Gaius' eyes widened as he heard that. "I-"

"Don't even say anything!" Wingul yelled, then grimaced and clutched his head as the pain flared up. "_You_ caused this, thanks to you I'm crippled now!"

"Wingul-"

"And don't tell me it was my own decision again! It's not my fault, _it's not my fault! _You just sit there all smug and... and...!" He gasped for breath.

"Listen to me-"

"Listen to _what?_ I know I'm useless, I know I'm crippled, I don't- I don't need to hear that! Don't say it... I don't want to hear it..." Wingul was horrified to find tears running down his face, but what did it matter now...

"You're-"

"Shut up!" Wingul shrieked. "Just leave me alo-mmph!"

Gaius had grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a rough kiss. Wingul wanted to punch him, but found himself clinging to his chest instead. He had never realised how much he had missed this...

Finally, Gaius pulled away, but kept holding onto his shoulders. Slightly out of breath he looked at him and said: "There- Are you going to let me talk now? _I don't care._ It doesn't matter, it won't change much at all..."

This time, it was Gaius' turn to be interrupted. Wingul pulled his head down and kissed him just as roughly as before. He was mad at him, he didn't want to be mad, he was hurting and he wanted to be close to Gaius...

A second later, Gaius responded just as eagerly. Soon they were tugging on each others' clothes and then Wingul found himself lying on the ground, naked, legs spread and Gaius on top of him...

Later, after they were finished, they held each other as they lay on the floor. Neither of them spoke a word for a while, until Wingul broke the silence. "What you said earlier... it's not true. It matters and things... won't be the same again."

Gaius shook his head. "You misunderstood me. Of course it matters, but you're so much more than a warrior. You're not useless. You're the opposite of useless."

"But if I can't fight..." Wingul said with uncertainty, not meeting Gaius' eyes. "If I can't fight, then what good am I?"

Gaius laughed. Wingul could feel his chest rumbling. It was a nice feeling...

"Oh, Lin. Will you ever stop assuming that fighting is the only worthy thing one can do? You're a brilliant strategist and politician, a writer and a poet- responsible for all these lengthy speeches you wrote for me, my most important advisor, my greatest supporter and my worst critic... and of course, my friend and lover, the only one who has been with me from the very beginning. I can find strong fighters elsewhere, but I could never replace you. I love you, Lin. Have a bit of trust in me."

For once, Wingul couldn't find the right words. In the end he settled with a mere choked "thank you". It wasn't nearly enough to understand what he felt, but Gaius seemed to understand.

They were silent for a moment again, and again it was Wingul who spoke up first. "Arst, I... maybe I can come to terms with it eventually, if you stay with me..."

As Gaius wordlessly drew him closer, Wingul thought that it was true... with Gaius by his side, it might just be possible.


End file.
